Life.......Part 2
Your name is John.......and tonight your walking away from the pain. You can't seem to lose it. It tears at you....claws at every single thought you have. Your soul is broken.....You taste your own blood and you tell yourself that the white coat and stet you wear serve a purpose.....When you put them on.....part of you fades away. As a doctor you can supposedly deal with anything. That mask you wear, guards you.....gives you a real life. But there is a side of you that no one else can see. Sometimes, those sides of you begin to cross.....they cause you pain and misery. When that happens, all you want to do is go back in time and erase everything.....because you know how it will all end.You arrive at the hospital where you work at. It's a busy place with a lot of lost souls. You are there for a different reason. She is dying. You spent all your life trying to find her. You make a big mess out of it.......and eventually, you succeed. But tonight, she is leaving you. The world seems to have stop moving.....you couldn't care less. She looks at you.....and you hold her hand. You wanna take her away in your arms and kiss her....outrun death. But you are helpless. You are not used to being helpless. You are not used to fighting something you can't hit. She tells you that she knew you were special back then,....and that she should have known sooner. You hush her cries, and tell her everything is gonna be ok. That you are sorry for not being there sooner. She dosen't blame you. She tells you that it is destiny....that she is not afraid to die. She says that it was never meant to last....not the way you wanted it. That both of you should have walked away when you guys had the chance.....but both of you wanted something real. She wipes your tears and tell you that you have a unique destiny.....that the world needs people like you. You tell her that you need her. She dies a little bit after........but not before kissing you.....telling you that you already had everything she could give........
There are times in your life where it will all cross.....they cause you great pain and misery. When that happens, all you want to do is go back in time and erase everything.....because you know how it ends. But you can't....that is not who you are. You don't go back in time. You keep moving forward.......and you never stop fighting. Thats the real reason you will still put it on....even when you know there will never be a day when your not fighting. Win or lose, you try to save people........and you will die trying......and maybe if you do die, you will come back just to do it all over again. A life ruled in karma. You tell yourself, the "mask" serves a greater purpose. It is a symbol of hope in a time without hope. As a doctor, you believe you can deal with anything.....but that is a lie. It does not matter how many lives you have lived....how many lives you have saved........underneath it all, you are still a man.....who can be broken......just like everyone else. You keep on walking further away.....lost....with a single purpose...It is a dark shadowy evening...your cries are lost and unheard ...your life placed aside....you are alone....like you were always meant to be........
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