Dear Jack......Part 1
"Dear Jack.......How have you been? Its been quite sometime since we've spoken. I miss you....a lot. There is so much I want to tell you son....so little time life gives us. I do not know when I will see you again, or if I will ever get the chance to sit you down. As you know, I am 80 in July. I never wanted to reach 80. Accidentally, God forgot my time was up years ago.Things have been slipping away in my mind. My memories of people are slipping. I hate that. It feels like life is cheating me out of my personal belongings. My knees and back, seems very tired. I think I pushed them too much.
I guess I just wanted to write you in case anything happens. I screwed up....a lot in this life. I missed opportunities and left a lot of good people. I failed some of my patients. And no matter what I did, I can only seem to remember the people that I failed. I do not know why I deserved to live this long. Maybe it is penance. God, my lungs feels like a husk.
I know your having a hard time now, with Ellen and the girls. You are lucky you know....you found her. I should know, I found my true love after all the things that I had done. All that masks and socially accepted crap. How she got away, was my fault entirely. I let her get away. I took my chances for granted. You know why, because I was dumb. Then again, I had a vision originally....an elaborate plan. I wanted to do things in this life. Most importantly, she wouldn't have understood. But I loved her so much. Remember when I told you about a life of meaning, or a life of happiness? I made a choice son, I chose meaning. Of course I regretted it a lot. I lived a hard and painful life. Don't think I would trade it for anything else though. I wish I could have lived both lives but it don't work that way.
Quite an adventure though. Sigh....Wish you could have met the people I met. They were the best. Nothing beats the feeling of making a change in your patient's life. In the end though, no one will remember. Not the people you stake your life for, not the people you helped by being the bad guy. Not even the angels and devils whispering, with all their twisted little wars. I don't think I will remember it all either. But you move on and choose to do it because you believe in helping others make it through the day. You believe you can make people's lives better. Maybe because you foolishly think you can defy fate....and the laws of gravity does not apply to you. Whatever the case, you do what you have to.....for the good of the patient.
I just want you to be happy son. I've seen you grow up with Ellen, and I know you got it right the first time. Don't let it go. That don't happen a lot. Dont be dumb. Don't be stupid. Take a chance. Forget the details and just make a move. Do not worry about the audience, just shout your love for her. In the end, I am at your side. No one understands this like we do.
I wish you were here. It gets kinda lonely. I also wish I had one last day of adventure....maybe with you. I never wanted to retire. Never wanted the money. I just wanted the adventure. Lastly, I wish I get some fried chicken later....I miss my KFCs....
Until next week. Same as last week. Go get 'em....
Sincerely..........."
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